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The purpose of this customary The primary purpose of this customary is to aid couples in the planning of their wedding. In addition, it gives a concise explanation of the requirements of the Episcopal Church, the Diocese of Western North Carolina and this parish regarding the conduct of weddings in the Church and the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. Christian Marriage “Christian marriage is a solemn and public covenant between a man and a woman in the presence of God” (*BCP, p. 422). “Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God” (*BCP, p. 423). “In Christian marriage, the woman and man enter into a lifelong union, make their vows before God and the Church, and receive the grace and blessing of God to help them fulfill their vows” (*BCP, p. 861. Any marriage performed in this church must be in accord with the laws of the State of North Carolina, the requirements of the Episcopal Church, the Diocese of Western North Carolina and this parish. . . The Minimal Canonical Requirements of the church ►All marriages solemnized in this Church must be contracted according to the laws of the State of North Carolina. Proof of the legal ability of the couple to be married (license) must be presented to the priest who will solemnize the marriage. ►The marriage must be between a man and a woman. It must be entered into within the community of faith. The intent of both parties must be for a lifelong commitment to each other in marriage. ►It is the duty of the priest to determine that both parties consent to the marriage of their own free willto each other in marriage. ►At least one of the parties to be married must be a baptized Christian. ►It is the duty of the priest to provide instruction for the couple regarding the nature of Christian marriage. ►There must be at least two witnesses to the solemnization of the marriage. ►All pertinent data regarding the marriage must be recorded in the Parish Register. ►Both parties must sign the following Declaration of Intention: We, A.B. and C.D., desiring to receive the blessing of Holy Matrimony in the Church, do solemnly declare that we hold marriage to be a lifelong union of husband and wife as it it set forth in the Book of Common Prayer. “We believe that the union of husband and wife, in heart, body, and mind, is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. And we do engage ourselves, so far as in us lies, to make our utmost effort to establish this relationship and to seek God’s help thereto.” (Title I Canon 18 Sec. 3(D). Constitution and Canons.) ►It shall be at the discretion of any Minister of this Church to decline to solemnize any marriage.” Title I Canon 18 Sec. 4. Constitution and Canons.) ►In the case of remarraige by either party, other canonical requirements must be met, which the rector will be happy to discuss with you should they apply. (Cf. Title I Canon 19. Constitution and Canons.) Premarital Instruction The rector will meet with the couple a minimum of three times prior to the wedding for counseling and instruction. These sessions will last approximately ninety minutes each and will cover the Scriptural and theological foundations of Christian marriage. Also, the rector will instruct the couple about the nature of commitment and covenant which exist in marriage and answer any questions the couple has regarding the wedding or married life in general. The Wedding Service The only form of marriage service permitted in this parish is that provided in the Book of Common Prayer, 1979 edition. Any variations or additions to that service must conform to the rubrics of the rite. At St. Andrew’s weddings normally take place inside the Church building and are solemnized within the context of the Holy Eucharist. Weddings in the Episcopal Church are considered to be services of public worship of God and are open to all members of the congregation. This parish requires that three months notice be given prior to the solemnization so that all of the parties in the wedding have adequate time to prepare for the event. We discourage weddings during Lent since that is the time to prepare our hearts and minds for the celebration of the passion, death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is also our custom that we do not perform weddings during Holy Week. In the Episcopal Church, the rector has authority over all matters of liturgy and worship so you do not need the services of a wedding director or consultant. The rector will conduct the wedding rehearsal which will be scheduled prior to the rehearsal dinner/party. The Wedding Rehearsal The rehearsal will normally take place the evening before the wedding. A member of the Altar Guild will assist the clergy in arranging the Church for the wedding. Please be sure to bring your valid marriage license to the rehearsal; otherwise, the rehearsal will not proceed. The rehearsal dinner/party normally follows the rehearsal. The Wedding Reception The parish hall is available for receptions without charge. However, it is the custom of this parish that no alcoholic beverages will be served on parish property. Decorating the Church The rector will have final approval over any additional decorations which might be brought into the Church for the wedding. This includes such items as candelabra, kneeling benches, aisle runner and flowers. Please consult with the rector before making any such arrangements. Music for the Wedding The rector will have final approval over any music played or sung in the Church. As stated in the rubrics of the Book of Common Prayer, “Hymns referred to in the rubrics of the Book are to be understood as those authorized by this Church. The words of anthems are to be from Holy Scripture, or from this [Prayer] Book, or from texts congruent with them” (BCP 14). So make plans to meet with the rector and the organist well ahead of time to choose appropriate music for your service. The parish organist has first refusal of weddings and special services, and will play for the service unless she chooses otherwise. Even if she does not play, any organist fee goes to the parish organist as per the standards of the American Guild of Organists. The Bulletins / Service Sheets The parish will provide bulletins for the service if the Parish Secretary receives all pertinent information two weeks prior to the event. Photography No photographs will be taken during the ceremony. Ample time for photographs will be provided before / after the service. However, you may videotape the wedding from a stationary position with the camera mounted on a tripod. The rector will determine a discreet location for the camera and tripod. Participants With the consent of the rector, anyone the couple desires may participate in the service. It is especially important that you inform the rector as early as possible if you want to invite clergy from outside this parish to assist. This is particularly important if the guest clergy is not licensed in this Church. Fees Because the wedding is service of worship, no fee is charged by the clergy for the service. If any member of the wedding party wishes to give an honorarium, it will be used as a part of the rector’s discretionary fund to aid the poor and needy. The organist is paid $100 which covers both the rehearsal and the wedding. The organist’s fee is paid to St. Andrew’s which then pays the organist. A minimum donation of $50 is requested for the Altar Guild to cover the expense of extra candles, communion supplies, and other items. There is no fee charged for the use of the facilities. Since we do not employ a sexton or custodian and most weddings are on Saturdays, the wedding party is expected to remain and tidy up the Church for Sunday worship. Please help us in keeping the parish clean and orderly. We request that you use bird seed instead of rice for the traditional send-off and that nothing be thrown or scattered in the Church. *The Book of Common Prayer, 1957 edition |
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A Customary For Christian Marriage |
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St Andrew's Episcopal Church © June 2006, St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, Canton, NC |